Good day gone bad...

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Well, what I thought started out to be a decent day for Matthew turned into a very bad day for him. Originally, his x-rays showed that his intestines looked slightly better today, but definitely not normal. So I thought that was a very good thing. Then when they were trying to put in a very deep IV line for his nutrition he started to show signs of distress because he was not tolerating it. Unfortunately, most of his veins are blown because they've been used so much over the last few months that there is nothing left to use. They tried in at least 5 different places on his body and during that time he kept dropping his heart rate and oxygen saturation several times and it was difficult for him to recover. Then about 8:30 tonight, Matthew had a gastric hemorrhage in his stomach. His stomach blew up and got very distended and they ended up pumping a lot of blood out of the stomach. His heart rate dropped so low along with his respiratory status that they had to perform CPR on him. Unfortunately, they had to reintubate him, so now he is back on the ventilator. They took another abdominal x-ray and it doesn't look as bad as they thought it would and fortunately his intestines did not perforate. They don't know if this is the cause of the infection and the intesinal problem or if this is just a reaction to being so stressed out today and the last few days because of the infection. With the eye appointment today, the many attempts at getting a deep IV line and the infection, it was all too much for him to handle and now he is really stressed out and needs lots of rest and recovery. Unfortunately, they had to draw more blood from him to run more tests to find out what else is going on with him. He'll be getting abdominal x-rays every few hours and will be monitored very closely over the next day or so.

The results of his eye appointment showed that they are not better, but they are not worse. Thank God for that because there is no way he could have handled surgery today. The doctor did say, however, that he is still in that window where things could change either for better or for worse. So the next appointment will be this Tuesday coming up.

Right now, I am not sure how I feel. When the doctor called me I was in a breastfeeding class so my phone was off. She left a message that sounded panicky and for me to call her ASAP. My first thought was something bad happened and Matthew is dead. Then when I got into the hospital the doctor met us at the door before going in to scrub up. She told us what happened, and I immediately thought that what happened is okay and at least he's not dead. I don't know if I had that response because I am in shock, or numb from hearing all the bad news about him over the last few days, or if I am going into fight mode and then I'll break down later, or if it is just a peaceful feeling like he's going to be okay. It is a very odd place to be and honestly I don't think I can really describe how I feel. I feel like he is going to be okay, but I really just don't know. It is hard to see him laying there limp and reintubated, but then again, we've been here before, so maybe this just seems like a familiar place...I don't really know. I am just thankful that he is not dead and that the x-rays are not as bad as they thought. I am truly thankful that he did not need to have eye surgery because I am not sure he would have made it through it.

Please, please, please keep Matthew in your prayers for complete healing and recovery from all this. Please pray that God gives us his peace, comfort, strength and hope in the coming days.


Jen & Jason: Please know that you are being prayed for! I remember the verse you quoted weeks ago, "Lord, the one you love is sick". He knows, and He understands your suffering. We are praying for the kind of healing for Matthew that no one would mistake for merely the doctors' wisdom. We are praying for a miracle.

We love you all!

Karen, Roger & Leo

Jason and Jennifer,
Matthew's case has been so similar to a baby's at our church. His intestine did perforate with NEC so he had emergency surgery and then more surgery later after his raging infections were under control.. The good news is that he is now home and doing well. His father wants to create a web site for about ten preemies so they can receive many prayers on a regular basis. Matthew has proven he is a fighter-I know that with his will, all the prayers, the Dr.'s skill and most importantly our Heavenly Father's Grace he will survive this also. We have you all in our prayers daily.

jennifer, jason,

know that you have a large support network. your friends and family live day-to-day with you guys, and we're all here if you need us.

please take time out to care for each other!! as always, you're in our thoughts.

I've been following Matthews life with prayer since he was a couple weeks old. How God has sustained you IS a miracle. When you are weak, that's when God can be strong.

I remember feeling similar to what Jennifer posted today. It reminded me of the story when Abraham walked with Isaac up the mountain as a sacrifice. How he didn't know how things were going to turn out but he knew that God was his only source to trust in. He went quietly through the motions of obedience while waiting for some sign from the Lord.

When you feel like you can't even pray anymore, rest in knowing that Jesus ever lives to make intercession for you, for Matthew, and for the big picture that He is creating for His glory.

I've walked in similar, heartbreakingly painful shoes, and I promise that God will see you through and He will show you His redeeming love.

You all are in my daily prayer.
Kathleen Delman

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This page contains a single entry by Jenn published on September 4, 2003 11:34 AM.

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